"shoes being wrapped in clingfilm"
by Aline Waites for remotegoat on 22/10/18

The tiny Bill Murray Theatre is a haven of comics. The Theatre side is covered with huge paintings of different stars of comedy.Inside there is a tiny, rather dilapidated bar with just two little tables and some chairs. It gets very steamy when the audience arrive and with Samantha Hannah on the bill the theatre is packed. She is one of the funniest ladies on the planet. ·The audience pile into the little theatre behind the bar and give the girl riotous applause when she arrives on stage. She is a pretty blonde with a powerful Scottish accent dressed in jeans and a pink jumper and she begins her set sending herself up. She believes that although making fun of all the other accents is politically incorrect, The Scots accent can be mocked and impersonated at will. Hoots the nu and Och aye are absolutely fine.

Sammy gave up comedy for a while researching for this particular show travelling to Australia and New Zealand in order to find the perfect marriage partner.

Apparently (according to her plot) her father had been diagnosed with cancer and he told her he would die happy if she could produce an offspring. This was distressing as she didn't have a suitable boyfriend to serve up the necessary. So she gave herself a year to find one. She had decided against being a single mother, Didn't particularly want to be Lesbian or risk the turkey baster.. It seemed marriage was the only option. Do you know that there are 238,372,253 happily married people in this country. Do you notice that this is an odd number? ??

This decision resulted in a hilarious search - even travelling as far as the Antipodes. (This girl's dedication to comedy is amazing) She signed up to all the dating websites, world wide and she tells us the results in detail.. Pretty unbelievable. M ost of the men looking for love have pictures taken with their middle fingers sticking up in the air.

The men she found were extraordinary. What kind of man thinks its a good idea to look for a wife, when they have no ideas how to behave? There are stories of shoes being wrapped in clingfilm and put in the fridge, guys who will fill a juice bottle when taken short and put the bottle her side of the bed.

In the end and while she is in Wellington, she finds a soulmate, in England. He is from Wellington and is currently living near to her place in London.

Seek and ye shall find your Prince, but you have to kiss a whole lot of frogs while seeking.

PS Her father did not die.

Can't wait to see what the next edition will bring.

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